What a weird and terrible year its been so far eh?
Each year we’ve said the next one just simply CAN’T be as bad as the last one! Things just couldn’t get worse, right? It all had to get better at some point and when better than the start of a new decade? The revival of the roaring, or rawring, twenties! Everyone was going to pretend that they read The Great Gatsby and drink and be merry for 10 years straight.
Instead, we exist in a time where the only people who experienced the Olympics are Mario, Sonic, and friends, a world leader suggested injecting bleach and now everyone you know has a Zoom account, including myself. Though I can’t work out how to cancel my Premium version so I’ve poured God knows how much into their shareholder’s dividends.
There was that time where everyone downloaded Houseparty only to delete it a few days later when they realised that the knock off version of Cards Against Humanity wasn’t very fun and also it had a huge data breach or something – I can’t remember, each month since March has either felt like four years or a few minutes.
That tweet that said about missing precedented times has really stuck with me, oh how we took monotony for granted! Yeah, the daily slog gets boring but at least you can get a cold pint at the end of the week and maybe go to a gig, or be within 2 metres of someone you fancy rather than chatting on Tinder knowing that by the time you’re back in the real world you will have less than 0 intention to ever meet up. Gonna go see the girlies for a night out first, sorry boys!
Wouldn’t it be lovely to live a regular day without waiting to see the death figures pop up on Twitter? What a twisted marker of what time in the day it is- akin to seeing those faces light up in the sky during The Hunger Games? Writing that has made me reflect all over again about what fresh dystopian era we’re living in. Batshit.
But anyway, 340 words in and onto what I intended to babble about here (I actually get paid to write things and this is what I do, look, editors, this is the high-quality content you could have!), how are we doing now?
‘How are you?’ is a loaded question at the best of times.
95% of the time we’ll just say that we’re fine and move on. It’s introductory, no one really cares about how you are when you’re walking into a meeting, they want to chat shit, get out and back to the aforementioned precedented times. Nowadays if I’m asked how I am, I have no idea how to respond.
‘Well, feeling a bit down with this whole ‘global pandemic shebang’!’
‘I haven’t left the house in months apart from to aimlessly walk around a forest and disassociate for a little bit’
‘Unsure if I’m feeling blue or if it’s all the 5G in the air.’
It’s weird because let’s be honest, who the fuck is good right now? How can we feel good and ‘normal’ and precedented? I don’t know how to fucking feel when we’re living in a remake of Outbreak, only with less Dustin Hoffman.
To sum up a few of the feelings:
- Tired, all the time. Even though I have not exerted myself in any shape or form in a long time.
- Unfocused. Sort of hard to concentrate when every few minutes you’re reminded that most of the world is at a standstill and we don’t know when we’ll get back to it.
- Anxious. Who isn’t anxious now? ‘You might not know you have this disease but you might pass it onto your loved ones and kill them. But also please go out, please go about life as normal and wash your hands whilst singing Happy Birthday!‘
- Lonely. Hard to not feel lonely when you can’t see any of your mates for months on end, right?
On the flip side, there have been some good times creeping in too:
- I watched a couple hundred episodes of Bleach, an anime from 2005 that I was obsessed with in my early teens. I’m now playing a Bleach mobile game daily, have read a few hundred manga chapters, and one of the spin-off novels. So safe to say that I’m regressing quickly.
- I played guitar for two weeks, enjoyed it, paid for a year’s of guitar lessons, and never touched it again.
- Oh an Animal Crossing. No explanation needed apart from a link to K.K Bubblegum (maybe I should learn this on guitar….)
- Some amazing music has come out this year, Dua Lipa’s ‘Physical’ really has changed the trajectory of my life.
So there’s some light in the dark etc, etc, or rather there’s some anime and virtual animals to console in whilst the world falls apart.
What a shitshow eh? We’ll get through it, all that positivity. But nothing wrong for taking a moment to reflect on the dumpster fire of 2020.
And on a final note, Black Trans Lives Matter and we have no place for antisemitism in our society.